Her Divorce Story

The #1 reason is infidelity – Lack of communication and trust

lust, its happened to many of my friends, good luck with yours though! the love goes away too many years spent with the same person perhaps?

For us humans, it’s not normal to be content with the same person for so long. We need change, we don’t shut off all attractiveness with others after we say our vows, what was once attractive wont be later, what we once wanted isn’t what we want later.

If tou can think of your marriage as a river, most of the time it flows freely, sometimes it floods out of its banks, sometimes gets slowed down by dams. The older you get the more dams, things really slow down. If you love each other and constantly communicate. there is a grat chance of being successful. Good luck!

0. Fighting/Aurguing over stupid little things that become BIG things
1. Loosing respect for their partner
2. Lack of Communication
3. Thats were infidelity comes in
4. All hell breaks loose, and neither one step back to try and make it work
5. Another number added to the divorce rate in the U.S.

Good Luck to your Marriage. Remember this: Respect and Trust along with Maturity for your partner will “get you through” a Marriage – not lust or attraction – which are only temporaries highlights that people focus on these days ..but if you have the R T M for your partner…you’ll make it..trust me..you’ll make it.

The number one reason people get divorced is that no one wants to work on saving the marriage. There’s not communication and its just easier to walk away. There is no staying together anymore. I wish you both the best of luck…sounds like you have a bright future together.

Listen Mal, marriage is not about love. Believe it! Love WILL go away ! He will wound you and you will wound him. If you can’t find the strength to forgive him for his trespasses against you – you will know divorce.
In your selfish PRIDE, you will do things for your own self-preservation and in doing so will disregard everything you said that you would not do!
Listen to your vows. Your vows are YOUR vows – not his. They’re what YOU promise to do even when he does not do his. Do you have your vows already written? Go read them. Obey YOUR promise and hope that he will obey his.
But marriage is not about what he does. Marriage is about what YOU do. There is no guarantee. Why? Because we, as human beings, are flawed and wrecked. Can you deal with his wrecked nature? Can he deal with yours?

Here’s the big problem…….neither of you has yet or is willing to really show your evil nature to the other. Really, you don’t have a clue as to what you’re really getting.
Wait………….you’ll see.

Unrealistic expectations, and especially this fetish about monogamy. If 30 years down the line, you want to sample, your marriage should be strong enough to let it be. Our ancestors till the late 19th century used to DIE at age 40 to 50, nature never expected monogamy in the first place, and especially not for a half century or more. So relax, be fun, have appetites later, and your marriage will be a happy one.

It’s because people are selfish and they cheat on their spouse.

I believe lack of intimacy. Both the emotional and physical kind. I feel you need to be able to talk to your partner about everything, including your most deepest thoughts. You need to remind each other everyday how important you are to each other despite everything else that is going on in your lives. I feel women expect to have this, but we don’t always do this when children come along. So many of my friends have said that their husband has felt their wife is no longer attracted to them or their wife loves their children more. Additionally, the best advice I was given recently was, “A woman needs to feel loved to want sex, and a guy needs to have sex to feel loved”. Nothing could be more true!!

Well I look at the numbers.

70% of divorce is initiates by women.
#1 reason cited financial problems.
After divorce women get the house the children and monthly payments(men get to live with their parents again as sometimes get to see their children)

Well I learned this at my Psychology class. Marriage end w/ divorce because, they’re spouse shows lots of nagging, desrespectful, and so on. You two need unconditional positve regard. =). Good luck on your marriage and congratulations. =).

Weird. Im getting married October 24th too =). Congrats. I think it generally boils down to a lack of communication. It is scary i know. Here’s something my fiance and i did though. Were getting married in a church so where we live we had to go through like 6 pre marital counseling classes. At our last class he had us right down 7 things we each must do to make our marriage work like…
-Always love and try to be understanding with each other.
-When a problem gets out of our hands to consult a 3rd party that is neutral like a councilor…

Those kind of things and when things get tough were supposed to get our lists out and make sure were doing all those things we wrote down. It sounds kind of gay but i think its a good idea. =)

You are simply paying more attention to sad divorce stories, because you’re getting married. It’s sort of like getting a new car — you’ve never noticed so many of the same kind as you just bought on the road before (if you see what i mean).

Sometimes people do outgrow relationships, or fall out of love. Every relationship we enter into has a chance to end. BUT if there is planning, discussion about how you’ll live your lives, if you dont’ have expectations your fiance will undergo some miraculous change after you get married, communication and trust, i think things will be fine.

If you are ever concerned about how you’re getting along, then talk with each other in a calm, caring way. Let each other know how you feel. Don’t stuff a bunch of little problems into a bag and carry it around — open your mouths and express your feelings. Lots of times thousands of little things turn into a big problem, and no one can pinpoint the issue.

I’m sure you’ll do well. If you are concerned about getting along and having a lasting marriage, you can always go to couples counseling or premarital counseling for support and advice.

congratulations.

What the hell is ‘in love’? Sounds pretty temporary to me. Much better (and certainly more mature) if you make a commitment to discuss and problem solve calmly together with the understanding that there will most certainly be trouble ahead. Do this and love and passion will take care of themselves. Also, be willing to seek professional advice if a problem appears unsolvable. Some of the issues families face today require a LOT more than just common sense, which is not all that common after all.

a lot of different reasons,my best advise is always thats him no he is your man.u must make him feel spiecal,because he’s marring u.just keep doing what ever it is ur doing.alot of marrages get in thier comfort zone,& kids,then they tend 2 put eachother on the back burner with so many other thing 2 do & think of.always make time 4 him even if it puts u out of ur way.dont depend on him 2 think of date night & time alone,because men dont think like us women do.dont put off 2morrow what mite make a change 2 day!!!!congrats & god bless!!

The number one reason is they don’t talk to one another about their wants and needs. Instead of talking about it or listening to their spouse they want to do their own thing. Marriage is like a business, you have to work at it to make it work. If you each don’t put in 100% it will crumble like bacon. If you each are willing to compromise instead of: it is my way or no way, then you have a chance. NO marriage is perfect and there will always be a a fight or two. But the key is communication and compromising. Quit listening to divorce horror stories and believe you will make your marriage work by paying attention. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Sometimes an argument over little stuff can best be left quietly alone and let the other person win the argument. (I mean Who cares about the toilet seat up? Who cares if he watches a game on sunday) is he home watching or at the bar? which would you prefer?) see what I mean? Don’t let silly stuff come between you its not worth the argument.

Love creates marriages, but it takes a lot more than love to maintain them. They will have all kinds of times, and sometimes your own spouse seems like they are the single most problem, you maybe even fantasize them getting run over by a dump truck.

That’s when it’s time to slow down, reattach, reaffirm, get back to basics and not let the little things become big things.

Keep reserve finances, and reserve nerves. Both will be taxed, but at the other end of all wonderful, scary, wild and what at times seems like the end, it’s just a new day, further down that river of life.

Because people are SELFISH and they don’t want to hold to the VOWS that they took before God. Your vows should be secret and should be important to you as they are to God. Please don’t’ listen to people who say that LOVE is not apart of marriage or that it is not important because they are lying. Love is what brought you together and God’s love will keep you together. Yes marriage is hard but you have to be willing to work through the good and the bad. From my point of view I think that people are willing to give up to fast without fighting for what’s important to them

2 Shacking up before marriage.
Should We Live Together?
What Young Adults Need to Know about Cohabitation before Marriage
David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead
Rutgers University Study
Cohabiting couples breakup three times more than married couples. Cohabiting couples that later marry have a 46% higher rate of divorce than those who did not cohabit prior to marriage.
http://marriage.rutgers.edu/Publications/SWLT2%20TEXT.htm

#1 Getting married prior to age 24.
http://tinyurl.com/RightAgeToMarry-2

All other issues start and end with these two reasons.
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Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish it’s source. It dies on blindeness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds. It dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

Infidelity, dishonesty, lack of communication, financial situations, stress and so forth. Everything plays a roll!

Why do some couples stay happy together for a lifetime, while others are in conflict almost from the beginning?

Part of the answer is compatibility – making the initial choice of a partner with whom you share common values. Equally much, however, depends upon the choices each partner chooses to make during the relationship. Here are seven choices made by happy couples:

1. Trust: Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship. If the other is going to cheat or otherwise dishonor the relationship, suspicion and jealousy will not prevent it, and such a relationship is fatally flawed in any case. Unwarranted suspicion and jealousy create misery in a surprising number of relationships. If you want to live happily, trust your partner completely. If they dishonor your trust, deal with the situation then. In the meanwhile, your will have been happy.

2. Open Communication: Tell the truth, tell the whole truth. If you didn’t want to share your whole life with your partner, why are you together? If you make a mistake, admit it. If you have doubts, talk about them. Secrets and lies kill a relationship. With truth and openness anything is possible. Even if something is unforgivable, it is better to deal with it quickly.

3. Honoring the other’s point-of-view: People disagree, couples disagree. Understanding that the two partners in a couple remain individuals is crucial to a happy relationship. Why would you expect that you and your partner should agree on everything? Honor that one of you is a Republican and the other a Democrat. Honor that one of you is a vegetarian and the other loves a great steak.

4. Self-Confidence: Co-dependence is another frequent cause of failed relationships. Happy couples know that they don’t need each other. Each partner is a completely whole and valid individual who has entered into a voluntary partnership. Neither “owns” the other, nor “can’t live without” the other. Each has their own interests and friends, as well as having mutual interests and friends.

5. Generocity: Greed and selfishness kill relationships. True love is generous in spirit. Mostly, generosity is not about material things, although that is also important. To have a happy relationship, be generous of your time, your love, and your attention.

6. Forgiveness: Resentments and thoughts of revenge and vengeance have no place in a happy relationship. Happy couples forgive each other completely for everything the other has ever done or failed to do – no exceptions.

7. Gratitude: Happy couples are continuously grateful for each other. Every day there are a myriad of reasons to be grateful for your partner. Find those reasons each day, and thank your partner every day.